is it possible that sitting(zazen) could be used like a vehicle to take me out of this life?

i mean i spend my whole day with the thought that i need to be doing something that is directly connected with paying next month's rent. its crazy how i treat this path of work and computer consulting as the only path.

what if i could sit through the worries until they were no more? would i then be free to wonder? the sun has returned and i do what i know, which is to sit in front of a computer.

there was a cd release party at the house on friday. one of the songs say something like when i try, i try real hard. then i give up until i give up on the giving up.

i think mostly im just being lazy. i need to get back to gridcolo this morning and get a couple essential features implemented.