the dymanics of abuse are interesting. the mind can adapt to anything and it only knows what it is presented with. in the cycle of abuse, the abused, over a long period of time, comes to accept a permanent condition of despair. even though the abused knows things should be better and could be better in another situation. this mindset works to the abuser's advantage. any action of kindness no matter how minor is seen as such a relief, such a change from the norm that the mind wants to believe this is the long awated sign that things will get better.