im being punished for being in the wrong place, for not doing enough or moving fast enough. to think i spent another entire cold dreary winter in portland and in the klickitat basement. for what?

i was really looking forward to my trip to san fran that was supposed to happen tomorrow morning. a 12 hour car ride with 3 good friends, playing FRS radio tag and irc chatting with at least one othher car making thhe same trip. now two of thhe other three have bailed and the third decided to fly instead. getting airline tickets on 24 hours notice is expensive. so unless i hook up with the other car thats going between now (11pm) and 6am tomorrow, i'll not be going.

why dont i just live in san francisco? i missed two other conferences down thhere last year due to money. im waiting until april 10th when thhe average daily high in portland is above 60 degrees. in san francisco the high tomorrow is 62.