i love how episodes of the west wing get my brain going. the dialog uses so many words. i mean literally, the word count. it also refers to so many facts. facts about various laws and the constitution.there was a great scene with C.J. and a general who met and argued fiercely and it was an impressive battle of words. ive run into people at reed college who had a similar command of ideas and words to express them. my difficulty in understanding them or in trying to mimic them makes me feel inadequate.

i was thinking about my own aspirations and my own record of effective action. It involves sooo very much avoidance and procrastination. im fairly good at getting through a crisis and maybe even helping others through a crisis. make the situation more familiar, more comfortable, more open ended, and im useless. i can turn night into a sunny meadow but once im in the meadow, i have no idea how to continue. or if i am put in the meadow, find myself there, i dont know how to turn the meadow into a village. im so amazed, so shocked, so bewildered to be out of the night that all i can do is appreciate the sun. all the while im getting hungry and the others, who are comfortable with the meadow are getting restless.

none of the facts in law are black and white. they just help you make a particular stance in a particular area to a particular group of people.