today was quite a good day. it started off on the wrong foot. i woke up at about 5:45am worrying about the school loan and work and what im doing with my life etc etc. once i got out the door and on my way into downtown to be with my friends, things got much better. for starters i was able to raise dave on the FRS radio from across the river all the way to SW 10th and Washington. during the morning at heaven we talked a bit about the ballot issues and candidates, thought all of us are putting off voting until the last minute - tomorrow.

the afternoon was spent installing the replacement access point hardware at web criteria. the new hardware works well, although it may be too noisy to stay there. it took all three of us (Dave J. and Darrin E.) and three hours of our time. it was a satisfying mission. afterwards we went to the tugboat, which was closed as it has the habbit of doing on mondays even thought their hours say they're open. so we went to the backup site, the portland brewing company. their blackwatch cream stout is the BeSt. equal if not better than my currently most favored beer, Hale's Cream Ale.

then we went to dave's to have hamburgers. dave 'keeps kosher' so the food he buys for home is by necessity a better quality of food than most. even though he eats mostly junk food during the day. i was a little reluctant to go because i felt it wasnt conducive to 'the list' (of things i should do). the food was very good and we had another beer. then we started to watch a movie, which started out very interesting. K-19 was the movie. I liked Red October but this movie was upsetting to me. it was a sad sad movie of needless suffering and loss and it affected me greatly. i was also upset at letting myself stay late. i left before the movie ended and got on the max to get me home quicker and read some of my J2EE book on the train. i am suprized by how upsetting the movie was and how real it felt and how it scared me to think i may be in a similar situation - either someday or right now in a way i dont see.

what helps guide me through my life are certain mantras. for instance 'my decisions can take me places.' i believe that statement is true and very powerful. its not the large decisions so much as the dozen medium decisions in a day that make a difference. staying focused on your goals is also very important. in my current lifestyle of extraordinary free time my dedication has been given an opportunity to prove itself and ive got some significant rewards from it. the hardest thing is to not be lulled by pleasure. its difficult to take a course that is harder when you can never be sure what path will be rewarding. when the difference between the easy path and the harder path is slight, then you have a great opportunity to put your beliefs into practice. obviously im rambling and repeating myself so ill stop here.