wow. a lot of emotion today. i went to isla sorna, spent a day there. felt a lot of really different things. overall i felt really good, i felt like i was back in my days of contributing to something and making money at it. the different stereotypes going through my head of the different situations today were so comical! having a meeting in a meeting room, being on a team of two other people i just met right that moment. trying to find out how they relate to me. oh my was it a big cubicle field. althought one with the best view of OR/WA ever. i met a woman who said she'd been with the company 10 years before finally getting a cube with a window view. she worked in the accounting department for 12 years. while i cant put much more detail into a public forum, i can say today was revitalizing.

then there is the isla nubar situation. i feel very good about isla nubar and i am moving forward to move to that island. I wrote the island VC a long letter just now about how I am a great fit for that island society and how its the place for me.

i got two letters from the oregon student loan commission. their system is so screwed up ,it sends me random bills for random amounts. yet i refused to persure a possible solution to the root of the problem. its so much easier for me to throw away $90/month and not face the fear.

there are multiple long-standing problems that seem like a house of cards in my mind. logically its easy to knock down. yet to turn my head in their direction makes me fearful. the house of cards suddenly feels as strong as welded steel and has a shock field around it.