living with my brother is work and drudgery. i have a profound distrust of his ability to act rationally and/or maturely. its stifling my whole being to be on the defensive all the time, or to bury the anxiety of overhearing his boorish anger at a computer malfunction or similar while i go to sleep. i am afraid to bring friends to the house because i think he'll embarass me. i wake up earlier than he does and i feel like i have to tiptoe around the kitchen every morning. our interactions fall into three categories: 1) complaining about mild annoyances (frequent), 2) shouting matches (rare), 3) technical trivia.

im not sure how much of this problem comes from me. I do know that it is furthering the split of my rational mind and my feeling self, when i should be reintegrating the two. Ive been living like this for almost a year. lulled by the ease of my cafe lifestyle. enduring through amazing powers to go emotionally numb, acting on childhood survival systems of over-developed responsibilty and low self esteem.

I am borrowing a digital camera from nigel at the moment. its fun to take pictures. the klickitat galleries page has a new 'cafe lifestyle' gallery.